To make a promotion in the ever after,
she’s going to have to manage not only her own dating dilemmas
but those of her clutzy, dating-disaster assistant.
HOW TO DATE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
A Paranormal Romantic Comedy
Released March 16, 2017
Luckily she has two of the hottest men in the afterlife as her advisors. One who wants to help her get demoted to his bachelor pad down under and another who wants her to get her wings and live with him on a cloud. Did I mention they’re both super sexy with a wicked rivalry going on between them? Both determined to outdo the other to win her heart.
And that’s in between spending quality girl-time with her new besties, Satan and her soap opera addicted Purgatory Counselor.
This is a great read for anyone who loved ABC Family’s Teen Spirit with Cassie Scerbo. This is the adult version where the ghost [Ivy] and her hopeless dating assignment [Lucy] both get to date cute boys!
ONLY .99 CENTS
Ivy Pinkerton is totally self-absorbed and uncaring about anything that doesn’t get her what she wants. When her self-absorption ends with her death, she ends up in a Purgatory with zero points. After taking a chance, she ends up back on Earth with the mission to help her former assistant, using some of Heaven’s powers and some of Hell’s.
This started out a bit rough for me simply because the author did a wonderful job of making Ivy a complete bitch. However, I enjoyed some of the antics and it turned out to be a fun little read.
Stew whipped up a liquid version of an Ambien martini for Lucy, which she tossed back in another gulp, like the amnesia whammy. I guess seeing your lifelong crush diminished to a pretentious, naked stump would cause anyone to start drinking heavily.
"That should wear off in about twenty-four hours."
"An entire day? Isn't that kind of long?"
Stew held his hands up in a defensive pose. "It was only meant to be sipped. You should have warned me your friend was such a lush."
We dropped her off in my apartment, which the super finally vacated.
"Nice place," commented Stew, walking through the living room. "What happened to all the furniture?"
Tess happened, but that seemed too whiny to explain all over again. "You know how I like modern things. As soon as something reaches its one-year anniversary, I throw it away."
"Good for you. That'll teach it for getting old. I guess that leaves more room to dance."
"Dance? There's no music." Plus, I broke the remote for the stereo, and even if we found it, Tess burned down the speakers.
Somehow, he piped in some music from the sixties that could only be described as groovy. It wasn't my first choice for dance music, but I guess that's what happens when you date older men.
"It's a shame to waste all of this open space you created with your Children of the Corn interior decorating style." Stew slipped off his shirt, while undulating his hips. "Didn't you say you liked lap dances? Patrick taught me some of his moves."
I giggled at his mock lap dance and retorted, "First, there's no place to sit for a lap dance; and second, no sober girl wants a lap dance, ever."
Using his shirt like a lasso, he circled my waist and pulled me closer. His chest felt like a smooth rock with valleys and crevices separating each muscle plate.
He released me and changed the music to a jazz ballad. After redressing himself in a long-sleeved, button-down shirt, he bowed at the waist and held out his hand, like a perfect gentleman, asking, "May I?"
His hand might as well been the Vulcan sign for peace. The last time a guy asked me to dance, he indicated so by accidentally bumping into me on the dance floor at Rockit, and rubbing his crotch against my butt. Bowing and asking for permission were foreign concepts to me, and never as a prelude to dancing.
"Uh, sure," I spat out, placing my hand in his.
Mistaking my trepidation for dislike, Stew gave me a reassuring wink and changed the music again. This sounded like strictly violins.
Putting one arm on his left shoulder, and the other at a forty-five degree angle felt awkward and exciting all at the same time. This was too good to be true, and I kept waiting for him to do something jerk-like that would validate all my preconceived notions of male demons, which pretty well matched how I felt about those that were still living.
It sounded and felt like a waltz, but since I'd never gone waltzing, I wasn't sure. I vaguely recalled something about waltzes being in three/four time. One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three. If only I had paid more attention in gym class during group dancing instruction. For once, I was glad not to have a camera or mirror so I didn’t have to see how much I was mucking it up.
Stew must have agreed because he stopped dancing.
"Ivy, you know that I'm the man, right?"
Was that some sort of chauvinistic reinforcement of his place in the world? He didn't seem like an idiot, but he was a man. They all had some inherent, built-in idiot switch.
"You're leading," he said in an accusatory manner.
Really? I had no clue what I was doing, let alone leading. My entire focus was on avoiding his feet or tripping over my own. "I didn't mean to. I've never waltzed before. Assuming this is a waltz. I can't even tell if this is a waltz or a foxtrot."
How old was this guy? "I know you said you grew up in the sixties, but did you mean the nineteen sixties? Or the eighteen sixties?"
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I’m so glad you’re here – because we’re a lot alike, you and I. We both love to escape to a world where true love is found in life-defining moments that build character, turn boys into men and make you question everything you’ve ever held sacred. Good boys are boring and oh so blah. But bad boys. You know…the ones to whom rules don’t apply to. The ones that do what they want, take what they want and use who they want and don’t give a damn. Yah, those guys. They’re also the ones that make you hot with desire, dripping with anticipation and wishing your phone would ring at 2 am afterwards.
I write in a variety of romance genres: 1) Hot + Steamy: These are fast + dirty short stories that are high on the heat scale 2) Amateur Sleuth: Think Stephanie Plum meets White Collar 3) Paranormal: Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you stop dating and 4) Author Platform Building: The Romance Roadmap Quickies are How-To guides on everything indie authors need for online marketing.